This is a follow up to “The Real Cost of Poor Communication.” There are some basic skills people can work on to improve sending communication. They might seem obvious, but when it hits the fan, believe me they aren’t.
First, communication is intentional, which implies some conscious thought and decision, that you want someone to take in what you have to say and possibly act on it.
I learned this years ago when I started losing the hearing in my right ear. I had difficulty hearing people even as they walked next to me. I’d say I was losing my hearing. They’d speak louder. That helped some, but not much. What did work was when I told them not to talk louder, but to speak as if what they had to say mattered and that they really wanted me to get it. That worked, literally, every single time.
Communicating intentionally also suggests that you’re considering the other person, their point of view.
How many times has this happened: You have to get sixty-five things done in the next half hour and you dash off an email that requires one to three rounds of replies for clarification? We all know how ineffective and frustrating this can be. And I’m sure you’ve seen dramatic examples of communicating without intention on social media. Particularly with political posts, people often simply vent to vent.
Instead of dashing off that email or that social media gotcha reply, just stop. Get into the moment. Look around, breath, whatever works for you. Remember that what you say reflects on you. Then, consider who the audience is, what result you want to have with them and ask yourself: What do I want to say exactly?
Next, when you want to talk, observe the other person. Are they ready to receive? Pretty basic, but not doing it wastes a lot of time and creates frustration. I have literally seen someone say something that the other person was obviously not ready to take in, acted like they did and went on their way, only to have to follow up with others to figure out what they needed to do.
Finally, make sure you can determine whether the person on the receiving end has, in fact, received and your intention has been fulfilled. Maybe that’s a verbal acknowledgement, an expression, or the other person going into action.
What it boils down to is showing up and observing what is actually happening, not just rushing through. Sometimes, asking the other person to share their understanding of what you said helps avoid misunderstandings.
There are other fundamental, practicable aspects of sending communication. What I am sharing here are a couple of things that have jumped out at me over the years. So many times, I’ve seen one of these simple things not done and the time it took to repeat, redo, return and verify, etc. I have seen this occur in nearly every project I have worked on.
Again, I must wonder: How much more efficient any team could be if each person in it was a better communicator?
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